Getting over the Grumps

Today is one of those days where I just want to sit down and cry my eyes out. Yep. I want to be a baby- soother and mommy holding me n'all.

I'm doing alright with Andrew gone to Alberta. We talk multiple times a day so I get a bit of a fix with his voice.

I have my trusty best friend "A" who is by my side encouraging me and generally being a great best friend. I have family who worries, and I, of course, have my Twitter and Facebook friends. There are other people as well.. but these are who I talk to most regularly. So with this support group made of lover, friends, family and strangers - I am doing alright.

But this morning was not an alright morning. I came into work, read some notes from my boss explaining how I need to fix something, read a rather mean text message from a good friend's boyfriend, and proceeded to cry. I bawled my eyes out sitting at my desk trying to fix the Internet at work because it wasn't working either! (Now I don't usually cry at a drop of the hat, but I didn't sleep much last night, had to deal with bad traffic and a tail gaiter my whole drive in, the parkade garage door was broken, and, and, and ...*hysterical sobs*) So it was my own version of a series of unfortunate events.

So, although my head is pounding from a good cry and I just want to curl up and go to sleep I am going to get to the pile of work on my desk and am stubbornly set to turn my day around... just as soon as I can stop pouting.

I have, so far, been doing pretty good at keeping the grumps away. I mentioned in my last post about Racquetball with my faved "A". I  have slowly been tackling chores that have needed to be done. I think our house will be as clean as ever come the time I see Andrew again.

Oh I also heard from him. Looks like he may be heading to a two month contract *whimper & whine*. Good Money, Bad Deirdre's heart. I'll survive. I have the wedding to look forward to, right?

So I am still a bit sore but its Racquetball again tonight. With a promise to my body to sit in the hot tub afterwards.

I feel like I am already starting to show results. Of course I am again refusing to look at a scale, so I can't really know. (BTW me showing results is wearing a size too small yoga pants at home and realizing their starting to fit less like one of those strings people use to cut clay.) Yay!

So exercise helps the grumps - or at least the angry part

Distraction and cleaning help the thinking part of the grumps.

But what about the general sad part? The part where I just feel like I have been beaten? I don't know yet. It's one type of grump at a time. But I am getting better. Even as I write this I am starting to have a better outlook, truly get excited for Racquetball date tonight, and even have a better outlook for my job.

So is writing the cure for the last part of the Grumps? I don't know. ]


The point is I am getting better, and we can prepare for blogs that are less sad and pathetic and more like the first few that were all humor and sarcasm and trying to be helpful.

Prepare for the Sulking of Deirdre

Andrew is right now on a bus to Edmonton. For those out of Canada-ers that is another province away from me (I am in BC).. that means come midnight tonight he will be a 12 hour drive away from me or a 1 and a half hour flight away from me. He's taking a chance on a job out that there could definitely help fund our lives (a.k.a. wedding and honeymoon lol)

I left 30 minutes ago. I already miss him.

The house is still the same mess, but there's clean spots in the mess where his stuff used to reside. It's sad. I know I'll see him, it just sucks because I am not sure when (obviously May.. cause well, Wedding!) but he needs to actually have the job to know what days he works and gets off, so until then I don't know when I'll truly see him next.

On the plus side to this, this experience does give me the opportunity to be a "new" woman when I see him again. I can have weeks (if not months :( ) of working out and correcting my diet... days of exhausting myself so I don't miss him.

That is the hope at least.

So to start this off I am heading over to the local YMCA for some racquetball with one of my besties. She's a huge inspiration for weight loss and I rely on her, heavily for her support!

If I wasn't so vain maybe I would do a before and after picture. Ugh. Lets say the before is a whale, shall we? The after will be Hot me. I may post that picture. we will see.


Also, the other good thing about this is I am currently editing for a very emotional set of chapters. the chapters after the break up where she is all alone. Convenient then that I should be going through similar emotions at such a critical editing process. It will be painful but good. Glad we have a good long distance plan, I know I'll be calling him lots for this.

Well, please wish Andrew luck in Alberta and me luck in BC living without him for a bit.

Regretable Opening

Today I got an e-mail from a publishing company. Whoopee right? No. Not really. This is the publishing company I mentioned before in an earlier post.

I sent them a very rough draft of my manuscript. They accepted it and I did some research later, asked some questions of them and have basically said no to them later. Here are some of the questions I asked. I scoured google for the questions to ask that I wouldn't think of. Here are some:

• Will I get free copies of my book? If so, how many?
• Will my book be published in foreign countries?
• Will you retain the rights to your book or your characters?
• Will an editor be assigned to me?
• What editing is done? As I have said before the manuscript I sent was only a first draft.
• Do you have a marketing budget for new authors?
• How will you publicize my book?
• Where are your books distributed?
• What are the distribution responsibilities of the publisher? What are my responsibilities?
• What is the procedure for ordering books for a signing/conference?
• Are you printing a run on my books or are they print on demand?
• What will my cover price be?
• What if I am unhappy with your services? Are you going to sue me if I complain on a public forum?
• What will the quality of my finished product be?
• How much control do I have over cover design, typefaces, inside art and other facets of the book?
• How long until I see my book in print?

I had gotten a response with a list of answers that didn't really answer anything at all. I was quite dissatisfied.

So it's been about two months. I thought, you know I think they got the hint. Well I got another email asking if I had anymore questions.

At this point I have read more twitter feeds from agents and editors and have been slightly discouraged because now, though I love my book, I'm starting to think that it's not exciting enough! Sure I think it's written amazing, but how well can a romance novel based on a failed relationship rekindling do? I know it's been done before, but is that the point? It's been done to death? I mean yeah I'm putting a new spin on it, you get to see the break up, and it has the larger point of "don't be a giant bitch cause that won't get you a wedding ring" or "you don't have to fight EVERYTHING" lessons I had to learn/still learning. But what if this one bad company is my only chance? Do I risk it?

That decision is pretty much what I have been avoiding because, well, I'm a big baby. I still hold the hope that some agent will see my blog or see me on twitter and have this moment, as if Zeus spoke directly to them, saying they should represent me or at least that I should not give up nor sell myself short.

See I don't want to burn any bridges. And It is such a nice compliment having someone say they want to publish your work, even if you know your manuscript is (at the point they had last saw it) crap, and the company is, reportedly, crap.

　
So because I am a big baby and don't want to say no, but do, I just want to keep some doors open, but I'm not really even taking the publishing company seriously. I did email them. It's my final attempt for them to woo me, but also for me to leave that door open, just a crack. So here is the email:

Dear <name taken out>,


Thank you for your help in this matter. I am still quite leery about he editing process. I have begun another edit on my manuscript and have found there is lots that I would change/edit. I am worried that the quality is not what I would have put out to the world. In other words, I lack confidence in the editing that can be provided.


Also, to be quite honest, I have heard a lot of bad reviews about <publishing company> and this has been an issue causing a lot of stress.


Like I said my biggest issue is the editing. At this time I do not feel my manuscript is ready for any kind of print and needs a lot of work and to be expanded in some areas.


Please let me know what you think.


Yours Truly,


Deirdre Randall

So yeah I know. I'm being a big baby. I would also like to point out that I have never had the same person contact me twice. Odd and slightly unsettling.
 

So what is your opinion? Should I consider this shady company just to have my name out there or do I wait and try to find an agent who is as amazing as I think I am (or possibly face rejection and the inevitable failure of my dream)?

Avoidance. Also known as painting.

I painted for 4 hours last night. I was late to work this morning.

I am exhausted, but proud.

My nights have gotten more and more sleepless as D-Day*** gets closer and closer.  But I have already explained all of this to death on my last post. So this one is about what gets me out of my funk, even if it's only temporarily. As it is, judging by my voice in this post already. *tries to change*

I've had a project on the backburner for a couple weeks now. A good friend of mine wanted me to paint her something for her boyfriend for their anniversary. I jump at these things. Then she went in to detail of what she wanted and all the sudden my inner voice that is usually reserved for writting says "you can't do that. you're not good enough". I almost believed that little devil. However this friend kept pushing how I'd do great, she'd love it, etc.  I believed her over the little liar in my head.

Ah so the way to defeat the little devil is compliments. Hmm. Compliments are the devil's kriptonite.

Hmm very nice. *has Hedley Lamar moment***

So I tugged on my big girl painting panties and decided I was going to do it! We figured out what we wanted, where we wanted it, how it would work. And then I went to work.

Andrew would come by every couple of hours and check on things. So from his perspective it went from a blank canvas to:

he would go over to his brothers, come back again and suddenly there was an animal on it!

seriously that was so hard to do! it doesnt look hard, looks pretty ametuer, but I tried damn hard to make that tiger look realistic!

I took a break at this point because i knew I would then have to make an identical tiger, and then add imaginary wings to said tiger.

The wings became the bane of my existance. I would keep having to look up at the waterfall or another part I really liked to remind myself that I could do it. I went through 7 different types of wings before I found one that could even work with the position. Then it was how to make it seem like a dream.

At this point it was 11:30. I still had to work the next day, and had yet to put the lettering on. So I settled, tried for water wings that blended.

I am not sure how they come across, but here is the final painting. The quote says "Do not blame God for having created the tiger, but thank him for not having given it wings."

If you want to see more of my paintings you can check out my Photobucket account or my Facebook group.

I couldn't face editing or being alone with my thoughts so it was painting. I havent been able to face editing this whole week. I am looking forward to when I go back to editing. For now I am collecting the helpful advice I find on twitter.  I have favorited some good stuff, check it out - on Twitter Deirdredawne's Favorites. So while I am moping around and painting my woes away I can still be a bit helpful and forward other people's great advice!

Also if your new to Twitter and a new writer check out some of the hashtags: pubtip, askagent, amwriting, amediting, writetip. Those are awesome and you can always find someone informative to follow!

*** D Day for me is when Andrew is done physio and taken off WCB. See yesterday's whiny post for more details.

*** Hedley Lamar is a character from Blazing Saddles. A comedy from the 70's that my dad loved, and I then loved. A favorite of my Andrew and mine's. If you don't like Mel Brooks humor I wouldn't suggest it, though. 

And yeah, i know I'm referencing a movie that is almost twice as old as me.

When real life get's in the way of fiction

Life is hard.
They told us this in middle school, high school, college. I didn't believe them. I said to myself "Well of course it's hard for those people. But I am different." Yep, no, not different. The same. Life is hard.

I always thought of myself as a fighter, someone who gets back up after being knocked down. Someone whom deserves the soundtrack of Eye of the Tiger to play while I go about tackling my next obstacle in life. Yeah...no.

I have come to realize that weddings can be the final straw that breaks my back.

I am fine surviving on what measly income we have, fine budgeting so that we can afford something over $200 under $1000 every few months to spoil ourselves, no vacations, but we have fun. I am fine with that. But then you add a wedding. In the beginning I thought, this will be fun! What a challenge! TO have a wedding for 100 guests for under $5,000.00 I can do that.

And yes I could. With Andrew working, not with him just coming off WCB and the job market still looking like the middle of a recession, not post as they claim. (Who is they anyway? They have been lying to us all!) Now I know Andrew, and I know he always finds a job. So it isn't that I don't trust him, it's that I am worrying for the what if. What-ifs are my silent killer.

So all this time I am worrying about money, and therefore worrying about the wedding, and therefore worrying about our relationship. And with all this worry the last thing on my mind is my WIP. My worries have taken over. My WIP has fallen behind.

I am at the point where I need to put my head in the sand. I need to paint, or knit, or do something that is purely by feel and less by brain (OK painting takes brain, but a different part of brain). I keep thinking about writing and every time I think about my WIP I start thinking about money and the wedding then our relationship and so on. WIP then falls to the back of my brain and that's that.

So what do you do when you can't concentrate on your WIP?

Well it's that question or "does Bill Gates want to adopt me? and if so can I keep my parents as well?

I'm so normal, I'm different!

Seasoned authors, teachers, etc are always telling us would-be writers and hopefuls to write what we know.

I believed that advice and I tried to take that advice, honestly. But all I could think was "what I know is boring". And it is, if it's played that way.

I am not a superhero - blogging/working by day, fighting love crimes by night. No, I am a normal person. I work Monday to Friday 9-5. I commute an hour each way. I avoid laundry and cleaning, I stress over money (a lot) and am wishing for a miracle drug that will just burn the 50 pounds I could really afford to loose.  So what did I know that was so interesting, that could interest an agent and eventually lead to my dream of being published?

I didn't know how to be a vampire or a werewolf or a super duper sexy star of some erotic romance novel. I knew how to be me. Me was boring. I have just lately come to realize that what I know isn't just what I am. Sure, I can make a normal life seem funny, I can give twists on the day to day that make you laugh or cry or giggle because its the same stupid thing you have to go through too.

What I know is also my imagination. I had never thought of "what I knew" that way before. I don't need to live as a werewolf or vampire to know how I would react, how a normal person would react.

I recently had a very intense dream about dating a shape shifter. Not me actually being the one doing the dating, but watching it like a movie, from the heroine's perspective.

As you all know I am still editing my WIP. (does that still make it a WIP?). But I have started jotting down notes from this dream. I think I may have a Stephenie Meyer moment and dream an amazing novel. Ah hope springs eternal.

This has only happened to me once before, but instead of a shape shifter it was a time travel one. That was quite odd since Time Travel isn't really my thing. I always stutter on the details and things that would bug me "am I going to meet my mom?" "I'm going to miss my friends!", "Who's going to feed my cats?!". But this was more of a princess trapped in a cabin that was trapped in a time capsule sort of deal. A mix on the legend behind my name in a way because good looking hunters were involved. Yeah my name is that awesome, it has a legend. *snicker*

So what I know is not just who I am, but what I can imagine - that is apparently limitless.

My imagination seems to show up in my dreams (occasionally) and surprises my subconscious into consciousness with this amazing plot or idea. Something I honestly probably wouldn't think about when waking.

Where is your most surprising inspiration?

Is it time for some space? The relationship between my characters and I.

One day I was sitting at work and this blurb came into my head that I had to write down (see below). There was no escaping it for an hour it swam in my head interrupting everything I wrote at work. (I am sure some of my co-workers questioned the e-mails with misplaced words about relationships and weight gain)

There wasn't some fascinating spontaneous start to their relationship. It wasn't exciting, it hooked them, but if the beginning of their relationship was a romance novel, it certainly wouldn't have earned any awards or a place on any to be read list. They started as so many young couples do; as a one night stand that stuck. There was nothing romantic, and honestly it was sort of shameful, in a, you either laugh when telling the story or cry; it's the kind of beginning you lie to your parents about.

They were now somewhere in the middle of their relationship, the beginning was over, the ending wasn't here yet. Lara, the heroine of this story was not like most hero's, she had the body that resembled her mothers... now, not her mother back when her mother was skinny and hot, she had her mother's body now, after 2 kids, the shitty part was she hadn't even had kids yet. John was the hero. A man full of pride, which exemplified his star sign of Sagittarius, and lived life to the fullest, including his stomach which had doubled in size since their first meet. Of course their first meet was not a very good preview of what would be. Lara was at her peak of fitness, being not fit at all but being 19 on a diet of alcohol and the foods that made the rolling stomach disappear the day after; and John was just out of high school, his body still rigid from the 5 different sports teams he played on, and of course the body building that accompanied such a life style. Now they were tubby, the tubby couple as John said with some humor and softness and Lara said with bitterness and contempt.

I had to continue, so this one blurb turned into 50,000 words and months of writing and teeth gnashing, hair pulling and crying.  My version of blood, sweat and tears : enamel, hair, and tears.

This blurb has been edited quite a few times, but still remains basically the same. To me it's full of my signature "voice", sarcasm, and wit. Or at least that's what I hope is put out to the world.

This blurb moved into a whole story where the characters took on personality traits completely individual to them. Sure Lara has some of my traits, but I like those traits, and yes John has some of Andrew's, but they moved past that into being completely different people. Like friend's or siblings. The story also moved past what it started as. It started as a way to get out my feelings when Andrew and I went through a rough patch. So one fight or argument that started me writing this turned into a story about completely different things, about a relationship so far from our own. But the words, the feelings, I took from my own life. I think that makes them that more organic.

So being this close to my characters I, naturally, am close to their feelings.

Andrew and I have been doing pretty great this past year. We have stresses, of course, but we are getting married, Andrew is coming off WCB into a less then promising job market, and well there's just life. So yeah we fight and bicker. But the point is that we are better when all is said and done. We fight and argue and will again, probably many times in our relationship. Once we're done being mad or angry or frustrated we go back to loving each other. We say sorry. We breath and talk about things and I try to be cooperative (Andrew is much better at that than me). If we didn't fight, we probably wouldn't be together.  

So when my characters fight and break up or spew angry things at each other, I feel their anger, hurt, pain, etc. When my character cries my heart lurches in response and suddenly I need Andrew home from what he is doing because I'm working on the scene.

Two nights ago I was editing the major emotional scene in the book. This is the point that everyone with a heart should be crying (so I think), so obviously I was. I started bawling. I then reached for my phone to call Andrew and demand he come home. The feeling stayed with me through the next day. So all yesterday I was mopey as if me and Andrew had actually had this horrible fight that my characters went through. 

So how do you separate your characters emotions from your own? Or is the point that you shouldn't. You should feel what they feel. You need to feel what they feel. Part of me thinks that's true, but I don't like cursing my day because my character had a bad one.

To pen name or not to pen name?

To pen name or not to pen name. That is my question.

I think my parents were pretty wise in their choice of name for me. Deirdre Randall. It has a nice sophisticated and slightly foreign ring to it. I love my name, and if it wasn't really egotistical I would probably name my child Deirdre the 2nd.  So now we all know that I love my name.

Well every once in a while I decide to google my full name and see what pops up. There is only one Deirdre Randall that I know of, and that is me!

Ah, but to my surprise there is more. It turns out Deirdre Randalls are quite accomplished. (again, good name choice parents).

There's already a Deirdre Randall author out there who does baby books. Completely different genre from what I am in to. I am fiction, she is non fiction/self help/instructional. But does this mean I should write under a pen name?  Are there other authors out there with the same name as another author?

I frequently use my middle name in user names (see Twitter) and go by Deirdre Dawne. So its Deirdre Dawne or my soon-to-be married name Deirdre Puff (yes.. Puff. No, I am not kidding. I know! I should write a cook book on how to make cream puffs, or start a cream puff chain. I'll be up there as Mrs. Puff right there besides Mrs. Butterworth.) But I don't think that has enough of a ring to it, and honestly I don't even know how to sign that name yet. Maybe I should practice.

So what do you think, should I use a pen name or not?

PS: here is an imagine to keep you company. My Laine-chop helping me edit.  You may not be able to see it, but the pages are full of red ink, a sign of a successful editing hour.

Premature Submissions and Editing

So. I have this work in progress that's, well, in progress. The pro's call this a WIP.

When I was half way through this WIP I decided I could start talking to agents. Let us also note that I had not: networked, looked into agent criteria, prepared a query letter, finished my damn WIP. Now I only sent this to a couple. So thankfully the rejections didn't come in hordes to crush my pride. The rejections did come.

At this point I also received a single go 'ahead and send me your full manuscript'. Well now I panicked. But I'm not done! Is there a time limit? Oh jeez, I'm not done!!!!

So I rushed through the rest of my first draft and came out with an amazing 47,502 words. Not nearly the novel length I was reaching for: 100,000-200,000. I sent this off anyway with a "ah what the hell" and a shrug.

Now after sending it off I started thinking that maybe I should check out this company. I looked on their website and thought, huh, not very professional. I Google-ed some reviews not on their site and boy was I surprised. Not only were they horrible to deal with, and basically accepted anything, but they had an "F" rating by the Better Business Bureau.

I said no to them. That was a small defeat to my writing hopes.

Lesson 1: Research BEFORE sending your query.

So that lesson was well learnt. Though it's hard to wonder if somehow I could have been the one that made a difference, or made an honest publishing company out of them.

I found Twitter and started figuring out that there were tons of new authors out there giving plenty of advice! There we go! I read blogs and articles and learnt. My cork board at home is full of articles on finding an agent, the process of getting published, etc.

I noticed a trend once I started following Literary Agents. They kept telling us new authors to "edit edit edit EDIT!" But they couldn't be talking to moi? I am perfect and so is my baby!

Ah, so editing was what I needed to do. But editing wasn't very fun :( But I wanted to be published. So that meant editing.  My niece introduced me to a website Young Writers Society. You basically review to get points so you can post a bit of your story or WIP. People then review it. You can also rate it so no little kiddies read your sex scenes.  I found a person on there who gave amazing in depth reviews. I want to find the person and steal him for my own personal editing uses.

The reviews pointed somethings out that, upon my own review, were so freaking obvious I almost needed a slap on the forehead.

Lesson 2. Is your WIP even good enough? Try reading it over first. (duh)

So I have started editing and that's where I am so far. Editing. Ugh Editing.

I am realizing that what I thought of as a full manuscript has turned into a really meaty outline.

So, though there are some amazing bits (mostly in the beginning, which had been edited because I kept having to re-read it) Most of it needed to be fleshed out.

So here I am starting to research how to edit.

I have found some help with this.

I started using Edit Minion to help with some basic stuff. This is from the guy who made Write-Or-Die. Awesomesauce! But I figured I needed a human touch. The computer is amazing, but can only go so far.

So I moved on to editing. On the computer was hell! I am fluent enough, but I like the feeling of paper and pen and red ink marking up my darling manuscript. So here I am in the middle of editing with red ink. You should see it. It's like I stabbed it and it's really bleeding! Some of the pages are so covered in red... well I am sure I could make some funny joke about periods, but wont.

I have received some awesome advice about how to help editing. I am on my first edit. I have decided that First edit will be just straight reading and marking. I will then place the edits in my computer. Then I need to prepare myself for the second edit. Since I am not here yet I am imagining myself pulling up my lady panties and girdling my loins, or some such thing, and diving into the once edited manuscript with my red pain raised screaming "BOW TO ME!"

This probably wont happen. I don't live alone, I still want to get married, scaring off fiance isn't a good idea.

Some helpful hints for editing: Change the font. If you wrote it in Times, and you edited it in Times, change it up to Courier or Ariel. Make the size a bit different. The change can help you pick out things.  **I will be trying this for the second edit.. and third, onto the millionth

If you, like me, have a problem with run on sentences - read out loud. Again, my fiance thinks I'm a bit crazy, but I can see how this works as I am the queen of run on sentences and too many commas.

If you wants some tips on editing notes or symbols you can always use this blog from Chazz Writes. I see these a lot at the day job. Some of them I am used to, even now there are some where I think "Oh! that's what my English teacher meant!"

After you have edited it till not only your pages, but your eyes bleed - it's time to have someone else have a go at it. My biggest problem is finding someone who will edit, not just read and go all doe-eyed telling me how amazing it is cause their so biased and love me. I need someone harsh, who can handle it if I hate them a little bit in the beginning.

Anybody else have any editing tips or tricks?

Ah the Beginning!

First post in a brand new blog! It's like the first pen swipe in a new notebook. Exciting and full of promise and usually a bit too dramatic! (see all the exclamation marks already)

I'm going to lay down some facts of who I am and all the basic things you need to know about me.

My name is Deirdre Randall. I am a 22 23 year old Legal Secretary. I have always wanted to be an award winning author living a life surrounded my books and my loyal fans. Yes, I know this is a dream, and yes, I am still trying to believe it's real and can happen. Ah, denial!

I am engaged (*squeee I know!) to a man/boy I love (obviously) and simultaneously can't stand at the same time, a.k.a Andrew.  We have lived together for 3 years and honestly the honeymoon was over a while ago. There are no rose-colored glasses, I lost those the first time he farted then tried to push my head under the covers. He is the best man I know. Has the heart of every hero and knight, but he is boy in the way that he's mischievous and brings out the immaturity in me. We can laugh and play and I trust him because his personality has this mix of honor and innocence.  Alright that's enough on Andrew.

I am an avid romance reader. There is a close tie between Andrew and my books as to which I would save from a burning building. The choice is Andrew merely because I am too weak to carry all those books, he has legs to run out of burning building, and he could carry some books as he ran out.

I love to write. I have written stories since I was young, like everyone who writes says. I started writing "novels" for my sister when I was in middle school. She was in a bad situation and the easiest way for me to help (when there was basically nothing i could do) was to write her a story about her. I tried to show her the strength I saw in her, how she had the power to do things, and how things could be better.  I love to read paranormal romance, but love to write more contemporary women's fiction.

I have other hobbies aside from reading and writing. I can't do more then one hobby at a time, so I do a few months on each of these, get bored and do another. The cycle then goes around until I am at the beginning again. Photography is on and off and I think I inherit it from my father, who was a wedding photographer before my birth. I have a ridiculous amount of really good photo's of myself as a kid. I knit, badly. I like to cheat and make toques using those easy-knit hoops. Love them! Wish they could help me make a scarf. I paint, pretty regularly. I started painting to decorate my house for less cost then buying prints. Since then I have had friends "commission" me to paint things for them for holidays and gifts. I embroider, enough that it's mostly self serving for homemade gifts.

I think I need to get more hobbies that help me with my wedding. Invitation making would be a sweet hobby to have now that I need to actually make invitations.

This is my first attempt at a blog that I hope to move into more than just a diary. I have done the online diaries, especially in high school. The good part is I found some really angsty poetry in my arsenal. The bad part is that some stranger has read more about me, my over dramatic fights with my best friend and my deep longing for attention from those cute boys, then anybody should have.

I overuse comma's and tend to have run on sentences. I  am working on this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I will need an intervention.

Yesterday I was 92 days free of smoking! yay! That fact is only important when I start ranting and raving and generally being a moody be-otch because I will then be blaming said drama on the fact that I haven't had a smoke in so many days/hours/minutes. Who's counting?

So my hope for this blog is to share some of my sarcasm, get a bit of a following and eventually this will segue into fame and fortune. What? I'm just being honest!
Aside from such selfish goals I would like to network. I am a recent addict to Twitter and found the writing community AMAZING!  They share so many helpful blogs and articles and tips that I am in overload of all the information. And I want to be part of that! I want to contribute, not just take!

And hopefully, you will be able to watch me take myself to a place where I can give you advice with the air of a seasoned, published author.