Sick and tired of sick and tired

Hey moms, this one's for you!

Today I am burnt out.

• I've been battling a cold the last few days. 
• E had like, no naps yesterday - which meant not the best sleep last night for either of. 
• She is also way clingy since she started realizing I can leave her - even to the point of me not being able to go into the kitchen, of which there is a cut out so I can still see her and her see me! 
• Its rainy and windy and that just drags the energy way down
• I have had a headache for 3 days straight

Combine it all together and... I'm just tired. 

But that's mom life, right? Yeah. I'd love to say WRONG, but none of those things can be helped. 

So what do you do when this hits? Let it. Today has been a lazy Netflix day. (I did clean the floors, so theres that - but thats pretty much daily with all the dog hair, thanks summer!) I am going to do myself no good if I push too hard. I tried to get in a work out this morning, tried to max out with Sean T... but no. 30 seconds in I realized I didnt have the energy to give it my all, and I'd probably to my body worse. 

But know that doesn't help with the guilt. I went to the pool with Liz yesterday and was totally exhausted afterwards - of course she refused to nap ALL DAY so I didnt get to nap, which I honestly really needed. So no workout yesterday. Though to be fair to myself, going to the pool and constantly holding 20 lb baby is a bit of a workout. Not to mention the permanent squat walk you must maintain to keep  yourself and her under the water, but maintain control so neither drown. So I kind of worked out. 

I still feel guilty. BUT I am reminding myself that I need to let myself be sick. I need to take care of myself. And so long as I maintain a healthy diet during the time I'm sick, there is nothing to feel guilty about. 

Remember that, moms, when you're burnt out. We are amazing, powerful creatures - us moms, but even we need a break sometimes. 

Conversations with Me, 40 lbs ago.

I've been thinking about this for a while now - what would I say to a younger, and heavier me to get my butt (literally) in gear?

I am now almost 40 lbs (thanks pregnancy) into my weight loss adventure. Its been a few years, but those 40 lbs came off with little to no suffering and through a lot of adjustments, breaks (and gains), mourning and re-starts. But I still made progress. I am lighter than I was, and that would not be the case if I never started.

So, if I could have an honest chat with myself before I started this... what would I say?

If I'm honest, I would call myself out on being lazy. Oh, I had excuses! I work full time, so I don't have the time. I'm exhausted. Salad is gross. and on and on and on it goes.

Those excuses are bullshit.  Fact is: I was Lazy!

• I worked full time - no I worked 8 hours a day. I had, easily, 4 hours outside of work to do something. What did I do - I watched TV or Netflix, or played video games, or went shopping, or read. Just FYI, 3 of those items you can do on a treadmill, elliptical, or stationary bike. If you work out for half an hour OUT OF FOUR HOURS, that's basically nothing, its 1/8th of your evening. For the love of god, just move! As I heard someone say - I spent more time thinking about exercising  than actually exercising. JUST DO IT! 
• Exhausted? Really?! Post baby me laughs, evilly in my own face! You don't KNOW exhausted (yet)! Seriously though. You're tired because you're lazy and fat. Yup. I said it! Honestly, if you worked out every day, even just a little bit - your body would eat it up (and not like it eats up everything else). Its a compound effect. When you start working out, you gain energy! The endorphins are crazy good for that, and I'm sure there's some sciency reason to back me up on it.  (oh here it is!) But, take it from (healthier) me once you start working out, you will discover that you get tired much less quickly!
• Salad? Ok Salad can be gross. Key is to find the right salad or health food in general and balance for you. Personally I need my salad loaded with veggies beyond lettuce, nuts and a bit of cheese and chicken. I don't need to go to the effort of eating it, if I'm going to be starving half an hour later - add something (healthy) that will help keep you full! Realize that you need to feed your body good food in order for it to run well. Stop giving it junk! Once you get through the withdrawals from junk food and crap - you'll love eating healthier, and hate how cheat meals feel afterwards!

I'm going to call myself out now - prepare, this is going to be painful:  You were stupid lazy! Get this! You work 8 hours a day sitting at a desk. SITTING! Lunch break comes around, what do you do? DRIVE TO LITTLE CAESARS and get a pizza or stuffed cheesy bread and pop. Then you drive back to the office. LITTLE CAESARS WAS LESS THAN A 5 MINUTE WALK AWAY! THIS IS WHY YOU ARE FAT! 

Seriously, fatter me - look at your life and the choices you make. This is why you got that way. The energy it would take to walk to Little Caesars (or better yet, Subway, two stores down!) would eliminate itself. The fresh air, getting your blood and muscles moving - it rejuvenates you. You would feel better after 1 minute of walking, if you just. did. it. 

So, having had this slightly angry conversation with my younger/heavier self - I can say that a big part of weight loss, is the loss of the weight on your spirit. I was weighed down by these limitations I had put on myself. I wasn't really that tired, hell, I didn't understand what true exhaustion felt like. I was mentally tired. But it doesn't take much brain power to work out - follow a video, walk on the treadmill or around the block. Half an hour of exercise does so much for you, refreshes everything - so after that work out - instead of feeling tired and rung out - you feel like you can actually enjoy this time you aren't working. You don't have to wait for the weekend to feel like a living human again! 

There is a mind shift that happened with me. At some point, I stopped thinking "ugh, a half an hour of working out is so long! its going to take foreverrrr!" or "I'm too tired to do that" to "it's only a half hour. I'll be done in no time!"  or "Just get it done, then you can rest without it bugging you." 

One of the things I find myself saying to myself more often now, is "why not? what's it going to hurt?" This goes for all things I used to be too damn lazy to do. Whether it be chores, household projects, working out, etc. It takes just a fraction of my day up - it will not hurt me, and will in fact benefit me, and when I am done I can have that much less on my to do list/or that much less of a burden on my shoulders. I can relax guilt free. 

And let me tell you. Sitting on the couch, after you know you kicked ass in a workout - is the best feeling! You know you deserved that break. It just feels amazing! That couch is patting you on the back so hard! Good job!

So - I'm curious now, what would you say to your younger/unhealthier selves? Let me know in the comments!