Stagette

Oh the Stagette. A nobel and honorable tradition where the bridesmaids get their revenge upon a poor unsuspecting bride by getting her sloshed beyond belief, make her do embarrassing things - photograph said things to blackmail her with later, and then leave her to wallow in her hangover. Luckily my bridesmaids are awesome, I don't blackmail easy, and I don't get hangovers!

The Stagette started the Friday before with a trip to the shooting range. My MOH set this up as an extra for me since I have always wanted to shoot a gun. Her dad has a Smith & Wesson .40 cal handgun. Apparently that's something impressive. I just know it almost sent me on my ass, wuss that I am.

It was terrifying to try shooting, we had to load the clips first, which was cool until I realized that my DNA is all over these and what if someone takes them and stages a murder with them?! CSI geek moment - I know.

We had the option of shooting a shotgun as well. I have a picture with it but I wouldn't try my hand at shooting it. It terrified me! Nicole, my MOH did. She rocked it, but only shot 4 rounds off - it was too scary for me or Cassie. (Cassie being the smallest of my Bridesmaids also almost landed on her ass with the handgun.)

A good night's rest was then needed (actually I didn't get that much sleep. I felt the need to play Black ops until the wee hours of the morning, so high on my power-gun trip I was). I woke up bright and early to go to my SPA TREATMENT! hell yes!

Oh it was the most relaxing experience I have ever had! I had this cute little masseuse with some Romanian or maybe Russian accent and the most amazing hands eva! She rubbed me into a coma like state. It was awesome! I couldn't speak properly for a good hour afterwards.

Another perk of the spa was that I smelt like it afterwards, so every time I'd go pee I'd get this wiff of spa from my legs (everything else eventually started smelling like normal, except my thighs, probably because the jeans locked in the relaxing smell)...this sounds dirtier then it needs to.

My MOH, Nicole took me for breakfast and then we picked up Lysh, Bridesmaid, in our totally kickass Stagette mobile! Yeah, that's right. a Hummer! We totally rocked. 

It was then time to get ready. I was decked out in Bridezilla wear and became "Bridezilla" labelled as such from my head to my..well arm. But you get the point. We had to rush and get iron on stickers but MOH did an amazing job of them. Hair puffed and straightened and crown perched properly it was time to get on with our adventure. First stop - the liquor store. After that we moved on to the freeway, where I had to get reactions from other drivers on me and Willy.

Willy was well liked, though there was a travelling caravan of boys (I'm going to suggest they were gay) because the driver was thoroughly disgusted, either by me or the fact that a female likes dick. I'm going to assume it was the later, his arm around his male companion eluded that females, generally, weren't that attractive to this guy. I'm hoping it wasn't me, cause - well.. we just won't think of that.

We travelled to Surrey to Central City Brewery - but because the game was on it was too packed to get in. We were starving so it was off to find something else. We went to a nice place called Gino's in Coquitlam/New West - kind of in between. They were awesome, some of the families gave me the stink eye, but they gave me a double shot for free and the waitress was awesome. Calling us by our ""hello my name is" names. Bridesmaid Lysh's was Pennie Pincher... she liked that she was called that.

See me and Cassie, a.k.a. Half Pint with our waters and Penis straws. All liquids must be drunken out of these. Though not sugary ones cause, well the straws went in our shirts after for re-use and that would have just been gross. While at the restaurant I also had to sneak into the men's washroom with Willy, while we relieved Willy. Many pictures were taken in their bathrooms.. they had a nice sink. Dinner was also great though I suffered from Tzatiki breath for the rest of the night.

We then moved on to laser tag. Which was FREAKING AWESOME! I haven't played laser tag in eons! But It was wicked. There was 2 levels to the area, and lots of pillars and walls, it was so much fun. I wonder how many times I can say that it was fun? Anyway, we couldn't take pictures inside, but managed to get the guy running it to take one before hand. I'm second from the left, clearly full from dinner as I look like a pregnant bride. ugh. It was tons of fun to play, want to do it again for sure. And it guaranteed burned off some of the calories I ate at Gino's! The guy was a bit creepy - but I imagine he is used to 15 year olds, not 20 something ladies riding high on stagette party.

We also went to the strippers after this. The Paramount Gentleman's club in New Westminster. To fit in we, of course, needed to look the part. So mustaches were needed. Willy got a lot more tattoo's here. The strip club we went to didn't serve alcohol - which was fine since we had 2 under-agers with us. It was awesome. The strippers loved us and would often come sit and chat with us. Which I preferred over getting a lap dance. I had one sit beside me and talk to me for a good 10 minutes. She was new as of February and just learning how to go upside down on the pole. It was pretty interesting. They all loved me and Willy - well duh. We finished off some dares, was offered a lap dance by some guy, creeped out by another guy, and had so many hugs and boobs placed on my head I lost count.

In conclusion it was one awesome freaking night! It was perfect for me! I didn't get trashed, we didn't do anything I regret.. and we had lots of fun! I think it was the perfect mix of mature and immature, sexy and fun.

And I have to say thank you to the girls for making it happen, and especially to Nicole, my Maid of Honor for pulling it all together. You girls are amazing, the best I could have asked for!