17 Day Mark

This is just a quick post to keep me accountable for me and my weight loss journey.

Here's an update, picture wise, of my progress. I studied this pictures to find a difference there is some. I would like it to be like WOW that's a difference, but its a bit. It's gradual. I didn't have surgery, I'm on a diet and lifestyle change.

So without further adieu, here is my progress to date.

Upheaval

Upon demands from one of my favorite bloggers, ex-roommate, DIY-er extraordinaire and general awesome person over at Hello Little Deer an update is very well warranted!

I've found myself struggling a bit with this new diet. The shakes are fine, and work quite well with my morning and afternoon routines..but the exercise, OH the exercise! The only free time I have is either when I am sleeping or after work - neither of those times do I feel very up for it.

I've committed myself to some pre-arranged dates for "fun" exercise. What I mean by fun is, of course, actual fun. Yep - laser tag, sampler fitness days run by my local community centre, fitness classes that are either dancing, or drumming, or something else in there to make it fun. But those are all in the future... I need something NOW!

I've complained before, and will again, about how much lack of enthusiasm I have for working out. I don't actually mind sitting on a treadmill, after I warm up I get into a bit of a competition with myself. I hate running outside, I originally thought, when walking the dog, that I could do that fine...but honestly he messed up my pace. heh.

I also have to admit that my life is in some upheaval. With mom's diagnosis of cancer, the subsequent treatments, and tests it's been a bit hard to get our schedules under control. I'm not blaming mom, she's now waiting for her surgery and detoxing from the radiation and chemo, so is back home and making dinners and home life is returning to normal. I've just found it hard to deal, whether coming to terms with her diagnosis, my inability to solve or help her, and more my inability to care for her - financial, emotionally, mentally... in the beginning I felt I could do it, but as others have stepped up I have felt my own inadequacies. 

The one thing I have noticed, now that normalcy is coming back, is how out of control my life gets when we're in upheaval. Not just what's in upheaval is out of control. ALL OF IT! Bills, food, exercise, hell even my moods, hobbies, etc. I haven't painted since January when mom started her treatment. It's not that I haven't felt the need, I have sketched and have been playing with a few sexy images to put down on chalk and charcoal....but it was as if i was too scared to actually do anything, as if living a normal life while mom was going through this was sacrilege.

So I've sat here planning, talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

It's easy to say money is the problem, can't afford the gym pass we want, can't afford this and that-  but that's bullshit! Honestly! We have some (somewhat ancient) exercise machines in the garage! If we could just get our asses in gear to clear out the space we need to use it, it would be perfect. And that would be another exercise too, cleaning out the garage!

Since I'm on the subject of upheaval in our lives the next one is me. I have been up heaving it. I would never consider myself to have itchy feet, or whatever it's called when you want to move all the time...but I find lately I've had that. Maybe it's an urge to escape the above mentioned upheaval in my life, maybe. I think it's more that I have found myself taking stock of where and what we are doing. I am 24, my husband is 23...I expected us, at this age, to be farther along. I expected Andrew and I to have  better careers, for me to be expecting our first child, to be owning our own home - something in there... and yet that's not reality.

We have talked and set in motion what we can, but there are things - like owning our own home, that just seem so impossible from where we are. I know it is, I have friends who do, and at younger ages then I...but for us, and our debts, it seems a pipe dream. The only solace I have is in the belief that jobs or work up north will somehow solve this problem. There were higher wages that are geared towards the high living cost, unlike here in the lower mainland where even earning nearly 30k you can't afford to live alone with any comfort. "Up North" has become a dream for me as well  - the answer to all that I view is incomplete in our life right now. But i think both Andrew and I are a bit scared - what if this dream is just that, and reality doesn't clear away these itchy feet, solve our problems, etc. I am lucky as I have an amazing husband who has and does entertain these ideas and even starts the motion towards them.

So now, as I mentioned before, with normalcy coming back down to us, I'm taking stock once more. I'm trying, very hard, to see the silver lining, or the light at the end of the tunnel here.

And I have to say, as the normalcy is coming back I've felt myself sinking back into my own skin. I am able to view the problems as today and try and find their solution, not just dream of a solution far away. I'm getting back to me.

And just in case you were wondering - though I'm not eating as healthy nor exercising as much as I would like the diet is still going well. last week I spent most of my time snacking on chips. Horrible! And I ended up gaining back the 3 lbs I lost the week before. BUT, I also lost 3.5 inches again. I'd rather see both numbers go down, but I can be happy this way. So this week changes it all. Hopefully I can talk in some laser tag with friends and family, I know next week is a big laser tag game with some girls I've met online in the area who are doing the same diet as me! I just need to fill up the rest of the 5 days with exercise and continue every week on that, and I should be good!

I leave you with the newest addition to my bedroom mirror - the saying that's been stuck in my head every time I just want to sit and watch TV at the end of my work day.

Do you have anything that gets you going when you feel you just can't do it? What are your tricks?

#2012Diet and Shaking it up

It's been a while since I last wrote about my diet and how it's going. Well I've made some bigger changes.

I'm going to start out by saying that I'm not trying to sell anybody on anything, I'm not stating to be an exercise, and what I'm doing is not for everyone... however, I am doing it. I have my reasons, and mine alone.

So after seeing some friends of mine have pretty big transformations in the course of a month on shakes called Body By Vi, I decided to give it a try.

I've previously (in high school) tried those meal supplement shakes that are always in the weight loss section of your grocery store. They never worked, of course I could never stand the taste of them either.

Well I'm giving it a better go this time around, with these shakes. I started on Wednesday the 15th. Today, at my one week check point I am down 3 lbs and 3.5 inches between my bust, waist and hips.

There are tons of recipes for the shakes, to make them taste better - and some of them (with tons of cream cheese) end up looking like more calories then a regular meal would be. I'm avoiding them and sticking with a variety of frozen fruit and milk.

I have a shake for breakfast and a shake for lunch. It ends up working well for me as those are my two most rushed meals. Considering my breakfast was usually McDonalds on the go, it's a much better alternative! My lunch was usually either fast food or oatmeal - on the fast food days its a big difference, not so much on the oatmeal days.

Typically my breakfast shake is frozen strawberries, 1% milk, and the powder. It's quite good. I have some frozen blueberries from my aunt that I'll be trying in there soon too! Lunch I make in the morning, and it's 1/2 Almond Milk 1/2 1% Milk then the powder and one scoop of hot chocolate mix (yeah I know, not super healthy...but it tastes good!).

Now i just need to encourage myself to have more exercise in my lifestyle. We got a dance game for the Kinect, and it's certainly a work out. When I get into it I can play for an hour and not realize the time is gone. However, it is really hard to get into it when my husband, mom, or roommate is watching. I refuse to do it, actually. when their around. So I don't get much exercise. My husband will usually whole up in the office and be good, mom's been gone, but the roommate seeing me dance and jiggle just creeps me right out.

So I'm going to try and do less obvious work outs. That means cleaning the garage (which is over stuffed and badly in need of organization) so I can get to our hidden exercise equipment, or make room for the elliptical trainer mom has at her husband's house.  I plan on doing a lot of things, though I know it's hard when the TV beckons at night.

Oh well it's all in the trying.

Another thing I have noticed after this change is that i have more energy in the morning. It still takes me a while to wake up, but I'm finding it a lot easier to wake up earlier. I'm also finding that once I'm awake I have the energy to do more.

No seriously, I'm doing dishes, taking the garbage out. It's like a miracle shake for mothers everywhere! Ha!

Well that's it for now. Hopefully next week has more numbers. I'm doing the 90 day challenge, so you'll be able to see me either transform myself, or fail. We will see.