Stagette

Oh the Stagette. A nobel and honorable tradition where the bridesmaids get their revenge upon a poor unsuspecting bride by getting her sloshed beyond belief, make her do embarrassing things - photograph said things to blackmail her with later, and then leave her to wallow in her hangover. Luckily my bridesmaids are awesome, I don't blackmail easy, and I don't get hangovers!

The Stagette started the Friday before with a trip to the shooting range. My MOH set this up as an extra for me since I have always wanted to shoot a gun. Her dad has a Smith & Wesson .40 cal handgun. Apparently that's something impressive. I just know it almost sent me on my ass, wuss that I am.

It was terrifying to try shooting, we had to load the clips first, which was cool until I realized that my DNA is all over these and what if someone takes them and stages a murder with them?! CSI geek moment - I know.

We had the option of shooting a shotgun as well. I have a picture with it but I wouldn't try my hand at shooting it. It terrified me! Nicole, my MOH did. She rocked it, but only shot 4 rounds off - it was too scary for me or Cassie. (Cassie being the smallest of my Bridesmaids also almost landed on her ass with the handgun.)

A good night's rest was then needed (actually I didn't get that much sleep. I felt the need to play Black ops until the wee hours of the morning, so high on my power-gun trip I was). I woke up bright and early to go to my SPA TREATMENT! hell yes!

Oh it was the most relaxing experience I have ever had! I had this cute little masseuse with some Romanian or maybe Russian accent and the most amazing hands eva! She rubbed me into a coma like state. It was awesome! I couldn't speak properly for a good hour afterwards.

Another perk of the spa was that I smelt like it afterwards, so every time I'd go pee I'd get this wiff of spa from my legs (everything else eventually started smelling like normal, except my thighs, probably because the jeans locked in the relaxing smell)...this sounds dirtier then it needs to.

My MOH, Nicole took me for breakfast and then we picked up Lysh, Bridesmaid, in our totally kickass Stagette mobile! Yeah, that's right. a Hummer! We totally rocked. 

It was then time to get ready. I was decked out in Bridezilla wear and became "Bridezilla" labelled as such from my head to my..well arm. But you get the point. We had to rush and get iron on stickers but MOH did an amazing job of them. Hair puffed and straightened and crown perched properly it was time to get on with our adventure. First stop - the liquor store. After that we moved on to the freeway, where I had to get reactions from other drivers on me and Willy.

Willy was well liked, though there was a travelling caravan of boys (I'm going to suggest they were gay) because the driver was thoroughly disgusted, either by me or the fact that a female likes dick. I'm going to assume it was the later, his arm around his male companion eluded that females, generally, weren't that attractive to this guy. I'm hoping it wasn't me, cause - well.. we just won't think of that.

We travelled to Surrey to Central City Brewery - but because the game was on it was too packed to get in. We were starving so it was off to find something else. We went to a nice place called Gino's in Coquitlam/New West - kind of in between. They were awesome, some of the families gave me the stink eye, but they gave me a double shot for free and the waitress was awesome. Calling us by our ""hello my name is" names. Bridesmaid Lysh's was Pennie Pincher... she liked that she was called that.

See me and Cassie, a.k.a. Half Pint with our waters and Penis straws. All liquids must be drunken out of these. Though not sugary ones cause, well the straws went in our shirts after for re-use and that would have just been gross. While at the restaurant I also had to sneak into the men's washroom with Willy, while we relieved Willy. Many pictures were taken in their bathrooms.. they had a nice sink. Dinner was also great though I suffered from Tzatiki breath for the rest of the night.

We then moved on to laser tag. Which was FREAKING AWESOME! I haven't played laser tag in eons! But It was wicked. There was 2 levels to the area, and lots of pillars and walls, it was so much fun. I wonder how many times I can say that it was fun? Anyway, we couldn't take pictures inside, but managed to get the guy running it to take one before hand. I'm second from the left, clearly full from dinner as I look like a pregnant bride. ugh. It was tons of fun to play, want to do it again for sure. And it guaranteed burned off some of the calories I ate at Gino's! The guy was a bit creepy - but I imagine he is used to 15 year olds, not 20 something ladies riding high on stagette party.

We also went to the strippers after this. The Paramount Gentleman's club in New Westminster. To fit in we, of course, needed to look the part. So mustaches were needed. Willy got a lot more tattoo's here. The strip club we went to didn't serve alcohol - which was fine since we had 2 under-agers with us. It was awesome. The strippers loved us and would often come sit and chat with us. Which I preferred over getting a lap dance. I had one sit beside me and talk to me for a good 10 minutes. She was new as of February and just learning how to go upside down on the pole. It was pretty interesting. They all loved me and Willy - well duh. We finished off some dares, was offered a lap dance by some guy, creeped out by another guy, and had so many hugs and boobs placed on my head I lost count.

In conclusion it was one awesome freaking night! It was perfect for me! I didn't get trashed, we didn't do anything I regret.. and we had lots of fun! I think it was the perfect mix of mature and immature, sexy and fun.

And I have to say thank you to the girls for making it happen, and especially to Nicole, my Maid of Honor for pulling it all together. You girls are amazing, the best I could have asked for!

Closer to the beginning

Wedding plans are rolling along, and as we get closer to the date - I start thinking less about my hobbies. Yes, they are falling to the wayside as W-Day (as it is becoming ever-known to me as) gets closer and closer.

Had our weekly Bridesmaid Meeting (BMM) and put chocolates and mints in all of the favors/centerpieces. Woot! It only took 1.5 hours! (and I didn't even have to bribe them with wine)

I know there are tons of things to still do, and the scariest part is the large amount of things I can't buy in the last 2 months before the wedding. The biggest and scariest - the food. Some of it (most of it) we can't buy until the week before the Wedding. That means crazed grocery shopping at Costco, and god help us if they don't have what we're looking for.

So far though everything is going great. My Maid of Honor has been amazing - I couldn't have asked for a better second in command, though honestly she's a bit more like the captain then me lately. Yeah, been playing too much Mass Effect 2 on my time off.

So don't plan on seeing any posts particularly relevant to anything as we get closer to W-Day. They will probably become more insane and illegible. Probably like slowly watching a crazy person go crazier. Well not so slowly.

On a side note this weekend looks like it may be one of the few relaxing ones I'll have for the next month and a half.  Shopping and sketching/painting is all that is on my to do list.

So any Bride's out there with any advice?

The Panic of the Bride

It has set in. Officially.

In less than 2 months I will cease to be Deirdre Randall. I will be Deirdre Puff, or Deirdre Randall-Puff, haven't necessarily decided yet.  Either way. I will no longer be just Deirdre Randall. I haven't even started practicing a new signature yet!

I'm starting to panic though, well and truly panic. I have moments at work where I'm all "la dee da" working away and then it hits me and I'm searching for a paper bag and my cell phone to call my MOH or the lady at the hall - who I am sure died or came down with some mysterious disease that prevents her from being able to use  A FREAKING PHONE!

So you want some history on my outburst? Andrew and I have been trying to get a hold of the lady of the hall for 2 months, since before he left. We have left numerous voice mails. No response back.

I'm sure our voice mails started out nice: "Hi this is Deirdre and Andrew, we have a wedding May 21, can you please call us back so we can give you the money?"

To what it is now: *high pitched panicky voice* "Hi this is Deirdre. you know, the bride who has been trying to reach you for two months now. Yeah. Just wondering if you could call me back at your earliest convenience *clenched teeth* so we could make sure that we can actually GET MARRIED AT YOUR HALL. And yes we would love to give you the deposit, and I need to see the tables and chairs for decor. Oh and did I mention the wedding is now in LESS THAN 2 MONTHS! no? well it is. So as you can imagine I am one *very* panicked bride. mm k. Thanks. Call. Now. <phone number>"

...I better get a call.

I have now resorted to emailing community "leaders" in the area to see if she died or something. I may feel bad if she did... but honestly I probably wont. That sounds mean. Ah the onset of the True Bridezilla. Should I rename my blog that?

But the hall isn't the only thing. There's rings. Andrew's is ordered. Andrew hasn't even thought about mine, well ok I don't know if he has. I have the bridesmaid gifts waiting at the jewelery store. Groomsmen gifts need to be bought and engraved. and then there is the whole matter of FOOD AND ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!!

My drinks for the night are taken care of. I can get Andrew's bottle. We need wine (and it will be cheap) for the tables. But what about the rest of the part?

I need to confirm how long the DJ will be there for - and therefore how much money I need saved for him.

I need to send him pictures.

I need to send him our music choices.

I need to make sure Lysh has her speech written - but not know what it is.

The guys need their freaking tuxes.

*searches for paper bag*

I am a normal human being who can handle this. I have an amazing maid of honor who will help. I have amazing bridesmaids that will listen to me bitch. I can do this. I can do this.  *repeat until feeling better*

The Guilty Ivory

My world has been revolving around the wedding as of late, and I am sorry, blog, for I have somewhat forgotten you.

I have *finally* created the list of all that should be done (though list is probably not actually done). And things are rapidly getting removed from its pages. So my life is a series of getting things off of my wedding lists.

There is some interesting news on the Bridal front. MOH suggested that my sister in law be MOH because she's been doing so much. Seriously my sister in law has been a godsend to me with all of the wedding stuff. I appreciate (a lot) MOH saying this because I sort of wanted to as well. This goes back to a post I deleted about how all of my bridesmaids are like MOH's to me in how much they matter, but man has my sister in law deserved the title. So I asked my sister in law to be MOH and previous MOH retired the crown. Sister in law accepted so I guess her new tag should be Sister Maid of Honor? SMOH? That kind of looks like the initials for a fantasy book - but whatever.

So Yes, things are coming along quickly on the wedding train.

I should share some guilt that I have been broadcasting on Twitter about Japan. A week ago I got the flower girl dress in the mail (well my neighbor did, but i got it in the end). I ordered this on eBay from an Asian seller. When I got the flower girl dress I found out it was *gasp* white. Not ivory. Not like I had ordered! Here is a picture of the difference, since so many *men* out there don't understand it.

So I have this flower girl dress that totally clashes with my wedding dress. Well I look to see if we can dye it, but it's polyester, so we could try - but apparently it's hard to do. May ask seamstress on my appointment next weekend.

So I contact the seller Thursday night to see if she has a darker color because clearly this dress is not ivory.

I have yet to receive anything back.

I have come to the conclusion that the seller of my flower girl dress is in Japan and I will never get my proper flower girl dress!

Now let's make this clear, I was quite upset to hear about the goings on in Japan, the natural disaster and have kept abreast of everything going on. I have treated all of this with the suitable amount of shock, awe and horror.

But I still have this guilt because I am actually kinda peeved and annoyed about the dress debacle.

Is this the intro to the Deirdre Bridezilla I have been foreboding? It could be, it very well could be.