Buh Bye Excuses!

Death, disease and injuries often cause us to look at our lives a bit differently. We stare and dissect the bits of our lives and often come up lacking. I have done this lately, and found myself in need of change.

I've taken stock of the life I lead, the things I do, and the people I associate with. To be honest, the last bit is quite small. Prompted by my mom's own exclamation that we just make too many useless excuses, I have decided to try and change that. I knew this year would be transforming, turns out I am right.

There are things I have always wanted to do, and very useless excuses that have gotten in the way. The largest is always money, but to be honest, had we said no to dinner out that one day, I could have done something else with that money - something I had be dreaming of. Making that conscious decision, to not be lazy and make dinner could have improved my happiness exponentially, and yet I still chose to eat out (which in itself is damming another wish) and in essence waste that money.

Some of the things I want to do to make my life happier: Start a garden so can be more self sufficient re: produce purchases and create a patio "oasis", take partnered dance lessons (Latin ballroom), take whichever lessons catch my fancy (Taiko drumming, art, Zumba, Fencing, etc), pay off major debts/obtain more financial freedom, lose weight. 

Most of those don't require a lot of money (with the exception of paying off major debts/obtain more financial freedom. Most of those are easy to obtain, the cost of a meal or two - when put in that perspective money is no longer such an issue, after all - I can guarantee that money will be spent regardless, and probably on something like a meal out.

Many of the above tie into a a general goal: being healthier. To have produce available, literally just outside the patio door, or to take active lessons that encourage exercise, and therefore combine to weight loss - all gets me closer to that big healthy goal.

Another main goal that many of these tie into is to be more open to friendship. I am mostly a loner, and have lost or grown distant to many friends in the past year. I have found the need for a friend, someone to just listen, or to go hang out with, go to the bookstore, take classes with, hell even a coffee date every once in a while, has grown so strong I've broken down under that need. I have, of course, realized that all I need do is reach out. I have friends that are just a phone call away - but I don't. Why? An excuse that they are too busy, that we're not good enough friends, that we've just grown too distant, that I don't need the support, I'm strong enough on me own. Yeah, stupid excuses that just make me more and more unhappy.

So to hell with those excuses! I'm going to start saving and pushing myself to do those things I want. No more being lazy and listless, time to start being the person I want to be. Hoorah!

So what are some of your dreams you've let excuses take over?

Excuse Me

Oh my poor, poor blog! I have been lacking in my attention to you this past week. But I have excuses reasons, I swear!

1. I have been too busy.
1. When I am at work, my boss is here giving me work so I can't slack off write delectable stories for you.
2. Aside from that when I am at home I am either busy keeping my mind of Andrew being gone, or doing some chore that I have been putting off for a year.
3. That is unless it is Monday, Wednesday or Saturday - in which case I am playing Racquetball and pumping iron (not really iron, it's like hydraulics and there's buttons and its awesome!)
2. I don't have anything interesting to write. OK that one is sort of a lie. I do, but with time constraints I don't want to rush it out and leave a less than spectacular blog entry sitting on the Internet (yes I realize I have done this a few times now)
3. I'm all bummed and end up going on and on about how much I miss Andrew and my life is, like, over until I see him again *eye roll*
4. That's actually all the excuses reasons I can think of right now.

It's not you, it's me. But just so you know, I'm going to try a lot harder! I'm going to try and nurse some amazing blog entry all day long, so that by the end of the day I have something worthwhile to put out there, something to make you proud of me, dearest blog.

Now, can I please go on to talk about more wedding stuff? No? Too bad, I'm the one doing the typing!

I have a wedding dress, this I have known for a while, but now I have a wedding dress that is being sized, and will be able to do up all the way because it will have all loops needed! 

Then mom surprised me last night with a headband with this SUPER cute flowery feathery thinger that I will remove so it can go in my hair (the flowery thing, not the headband) and maybe I will try a craft day thing and add some netting so it looks a bit more ol' school.

And invitations are DONE! hells yes! Though I keep remembering that there are people I forgot to add to the list, like my dad's best friend.

And all this talk about wedding stuff reminds me of our budget. Yes, that thing that has been like Marmee Noir ** lurking over my dreams and head like a nightmare/monster.  Well I figured out that we have it pretty good. The biggest expense we may have is food (well and the DJ, but can't do anything about that) so if the whole Andrew-work-in-Alberta deal doesn't work then we can always just suggest a potluck. Worked for my mom. And yeah it's not classy, but the important thing is Andrew and I, not the food, necessarily.

Speaking of Andrew and Alberta, looks like things are getting a bit better - he's taking 2 courses out there that he needs to work on the oil rigs. He'll be done them come the end of the week and can then call rigs he has already spoken to about jobs. This is exciting. I have very, very high hopes.

Speak of high hopes, which reminds me of wishes - wish me luck on pushing through this one part of my manuscript. As I mentioned before I am stuck, not blocked, but not excited to move forward. I guess it's the starting of being blocked. I may have to move past and hope that I can remedy it in the 2nd round of edits.

**Marmee Noir is a bad lady in Laurell K Hamilton's Anita Blake series