Surviving the Apocolypse

Wow, has it ever been a long time since I last wrote.

My last blog was about how I was beginning to go wheat free. I have to say it has been an amazing success! I am still wheat free, though I'm not as strict as I want to be with soy sauce and minor things that contain wheat.. that's something I want to change. But as a quick summary - I lost 20 lb in 4 months from not eating wheat! I have now stopped losing wheat and will have to actually do something to continue my weight loss.

Since the last blog I have remained wheat free, we have moved to Grande Prairie, Alberta, and ...well that's about it. I have transplanted my life here, and am quite content. Life goes on.

Now that the summaries are over, I mostly wanted to talk about New Years Resolutions. Last year I had written a blog about what I wanted to accomplish in 2012. I think now is a perfect time to go through that list and see what I have and have not accomplished. So let's see!

Deirdre’s 2012 Resolutions

1.   Lose weight, goal= 150 lbs or less (ideal 135 lbs [potentially not possible in 2012. 2013?]):
                  a.      200 lbs - yes!

b.      190 lbs - yes!

c.       180 lbs - yes! (barely)

d.      170 lbs - not yet

e.       160 lbs- not yet

f.       150 lbs- not yet

2.    Healthy eating:

a.      Make fast food a rarity. - yes! sometimes we do eat out, but it is much less than before!

b.      Home cooked meals  - yes! since moving out here I have done a lot more cooking! 

c.       Cut out one item that is bad for you:

                                                           i.      Sugar -  not yet. this is on for 2013, i think.

                                                           ii.      Caffeine - no

                                                           iii.     White bread - yes in a way. as I mentioned above, I cut out wheat

                                                           iv.      Red meat - no. I have actually increased how much meat I eat (well protein in general) with having cut out so many carbs with the no wheat diet. I do try and eat more chicken then red meet though.

3.     Healthy lifestyle:

a.       Consistent gym use - not yet. on the docket for 2013

b.      Run: - not yet - yeah, just no. One thing I am not happy about is the lack of exercise this past year. Must be improved dramatically 2013.

                                                          i.      30 sec straight

                                                          ii.      1 minute straight

                                                          iii.      2 minutes straight

                                                          iv.      5 minutes straight

4.     Arts and crafts

a.       Art:

                                                             i.      Take an art class - not yet, plan to take pottery or something in 2013

                                                            ii.      Push recognition of own Art forward -  not yet. to be honest I kinda gave up a bit on this. I found it too hard, and ended up just wantint to paint for my own comfort and happiness.

                            1.      Goal: 120 Likes on Facebook Page

                            2.      More commissions

                            3.      Gallery/coffee shop showing.

b.      Organize craft supplies in labeled bins. -  not yet. well their somewhat organized...

c.       Complete wedding scrapbook -  yes!  although it was online, and i have yet to place the order for it, but its done!

d.      Start year by year scrapbook (reference Facebook for picture dates) - yes! same as above. 

5.     Money and savings

a.      Save (ideally) $500 each month. - not yet. hopefully more with out new incomes and life up in the great white north!

b.      Pay off credit cards and maintain 25% balance.- not yet, i have a budget though.

c.      Pay off major debts:- not yet - this year! I have a budget.

                  d.      Save for family vacation- not yet. but we did move, so .. yeah

e.       Have 2010 and 2011 taxes completed -  yes! 

6.    Friends

a.       Make new friends and network with people with similar interests (art, reading, writing, etc) - sort of. I started talking to some old friends a bit more, and moving up here I have become involved in a group of women up here to just chat. Oh I made a new friend, but she lives with us, so she kidna has to be my friend. Must push to be more social in 2013.

b.      Make larger efforts to enrich the relationships I already have. - this is something that should continue on for all years!

7.     Family

a.      Keep close. Don’t let another death remind you that family is important-  yes! 

b.      Communicate and spend more time with Kendra and Ethan. Would like to know my nephew.- not yet

c.       Have the girls over more often.- a little hard now that we're over 1000 km away from each other. Plus, their teenagers... not really into talking or spending time with their aunt anymore.

d.      Add to the family - not yet, concentrating on getting healthy to do so.

                  e.       Try to bridge the gap between Grandma and self - not yet

f.       Extend more contact with Opa -   not yet

g.      Try to arrange more regular trips to see relatives. - not yet

h.      More common phone calls with Dad-  yes! 

8.    Be the wife Andrew deserves, the daughter Mom deserves, and the friend my Family and Friends deserve. - This is another one that should be ongoing throughout the years.

Alot of what my resolutions revolved around was weight loss. So here's a quick comparison of what I started out looking like in February and what I look like now, err just before Christmas. Sorry for the picture quality, it's always just cell phones. 

So I see alot of red in there, but also some green. So i think I did fairly well. I had a pretty in depth list, so it was a lot to accomplish. I am proud of what I did. 

Now to figure out what I want out of 2013!

Upheaval

Upon demands from one of my favorite bloggers, ex-roommate, DIY-er extraordinaire and general awesome person over at Hello Little Deer an update is very well warranted!

I've found myself struggling a bit with this new diet. The shakes are fine, and work quite well with my morning and afternoon routines..but the exercise, OH the exercise! The only free time I have is either when I am sleeping or after work - neither of those times do I feel very up for it.

I've committed myself to some pre-arranged dates for "fun" exercise. What I mean by fun is, of course, actual fun. Yep - laser tag, sampler fitness days run by my local community centre, fitness classes that are either dancing, or drumming, or something else in there to make it fun. But those are all in the future... I need something NOW!

I've complained before, and will again, about how much lack of enthusiasm I have for working out. I don't actually mind sitting on a treadmill, after I warm up I get into a bit of a competition with myself. I hate running outside, I originally thought, when walking the dog, that I could do that fine...but honestly he messed up my pace. heh.

I also have to admit that my life is in some upheaval. With mom's diagnosis of cancer, the subsequent treatments, and tests it's been a bit hard to get our schedules under control. I'm not blaming mom, she's now waiting for her surgery and detoxing from the radiation and chemo, so is back home and making dinners and home life is returning to normal. I've just found it hard to deal, whether coming to terms with her diagnosis, my inability to solve or help her, and more my inability to care for her - financial, emotionally, mentally... in the beginning I felt I could do it, but as others have stepped up I have felt my own inadequacies. 

The one thing I have noticed, now that normalcy is coming back, is how out of control my life gets when we're in upheaval. Not just what's in upheaval is out of control. ALL OF IT! Bills, food, exercise, hell even my moods, hobbies, etc. I haven't painted since January when mom started her treatment. It's not that I haven't felt the need, I have sketched and have been playing with a few sexy images to put down on chalk and charcoal....but it was as if i was too scared to actually do anything, as if living a normal life while mom was going through this was sacrilege.

So I've sat here planning, talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

It's easy to say money is the problem, can't afford the gym pass we want, can't afford this and that-  but that's bullshit! Honestly! We have some (somewhat ancient) exercise machines in the garage! If we could just get our asses in gear to clear out the space we need to use it, it would be perfect. And that would be another exercise too, cleaning out the garage!

Since I'm on the subject of upheaval in our lives the next one is me. I have been up heaving it. I would never consider myself to have itchy feet, or whatever it's called when you want to move all the time...but I find lately I've had that. Maybe it's an urge to escape the above mentioned upheaval in my life, maybe. I think it's more that I have found myself taking stock of where and what we are doing. I am 24, my husband is 23...I expected us, at this age, to be farther along. I expected Andrew and I to have  better careers, for me to be expecting our first child, to be owning our own home - something in there... and yet that's not reality.

We have talked and set in motion what we can, but there are things - like owning our own home, that just seem so impossible from where we are. I know it is, I have friends who do, and at younger ages then I...but for us, and our debts, it seems a pipe dream. The only solace I have is in the belief that jobs or work up north will somehow solve this problem. There were higher wages that are geared towards the high living cost, unlike here in the lower mainland where even earning nearly 30k you can't afford to live alone with any comfort. "Up North" has become a dream for me as well  - the answer to all that I view is incomplete in our life right now. But i think both Andrew and I are a bit scared - what if this dream is just that, and reality doesn't clear away these itchy feet, solve our problems, etc. I am lucky as I have an amazing husband who has and does entertain these ideas and even starts the motion towards them.

So now, as I mentioned before, with normalcy coming back down to us, I'm taking stock once more. I'm trying, very hard, to see the silver lining, or the light at the end of the tunnel here.

And I have to say, as the normalcy is coming back I've felt myself sinking back into my own skin. I am able to view the problems as today and try and find their solution, not just dream of a solution far away. I'm getting back to me.

And just in case you were wondering - though I'm not eating as healthy nor exercising as much as I would like the diet is still going well. last week I spent most of my time snacking on chips. Horrible! And I ended up gaining back the 3 lbs I lost the week before. BUT, I also lost 3.5 inches again. I'd rather see both numbers go down, but I can be happy this way. So this week changes it all. Hopefully I can talk in some laser tag with friends and family, I know next week is a big laser tag game with some girls I've met online in the area who are doing the same diet as me! I just need to fill up the rest of the 5 days with exercise and continue every week on that, and I should be good!

I leave you with the newest addition to my bedroom mirror - the saying that's been stuck in my head every time I just want to sit and watch TV at the end of my work day.

Do you have anything that gets you going when you feel you just can't do it? What are your tricks?